“The wedding night-and mikva night-The only need to have intercourse is when the woman wants it. When she doesn’t want it not only is that not a mitzvah but you shouldn’t be doing it.”

The position of the Rama and Even Haezer is that if a husband ejaculates when he is with his wife, however that happens, it is not zera levatala (the spilling of seed) Rabbi Dov Linzer Listen to more on this podcast: http://jpmedia.co/wedding-night-episode/.