In a therapy session, John, 40, says “Mary isn’t interested in me. She doesn’t ask me anything about my inner world.” Mary responds with tears. “I don’t know how to make John happy”
The well-known couples therapist, John Gottman talks about getting to know your partner’s love map!
When we stay curious about our partners. we demonstrate that we are interested in knowing and understanding more about their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. However, if we are reactive to our partners, or feel responsible when they are sad, disconnected or mood, we become defensive, and this prevents the curious and caring response.
For more on love maps, please read this article.