Talli's blog

Is monogamy outdated?

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:06
 Here's a story: At a sex therapy conference a decade ago, male physicians and sex therapists debated the etiology and treatment of womens sexual desire "problems". The doctors attributed low desire in women to hormonal and medical factors while the sex therapists suggested, somewhat in jest, that the treatment for low sex drive in women is for them to "get a lover" or "change partners."  To this the women participants responded "Are you kidding? An affair? What married woman with a job and kids has time for an affair?  Fast forward ten years. Daniel Bergner, author of "What Do Women Want?" isnt joking around. Bergner says that  women's desire is an "underestimated and constrained force." He cites research demonstrating that women are  innately sexually aggressive and desire multiple partners. Research also points to biological factors involved in acting out sexually outside of marriage. So, it would appear the question for women "not feeling it" in their marriages should not be  "why don't you desire" but rather "what do you desire? and "with whom? Do you believe that women are not really wired for monogamy? Or, is a new social construct being created giving women yet another reason to feel inadequate for not craving polyamory? And for those who value monogamy, is being "monogamish" the solution?  How about this...monogamy may be challenging, but being committed to it doesn't contradict sexual satisfaction. That takes communication and investment.And of course asking your female partner not "why dont you ever want?" but rather,  the question: "What do YOU want?"

 

"Once a week" Q&A: My girlfriend can't reach orgasm

Submitted by Talli on Wed, 07/31/2013 - 21:00

 

Advising and educating newly sexually active young women

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 07/30/2013 - 20:37
I am a premarital instructor and want to provide basic education for the "wedding night"My daughter wants to begin having sexual intercourse with her boyfriend. How can I advise her?I am a sexuality educator and get asked a lot about what to do if intercourse hurtsHow do I relay the right messages about the decision to engage in sexual intercourse?

See this short video for some pointers:

 

"Once a week" Q&A: Can I fake virginity?

Submitted by Talli on Thu, 07/25/2013 - 11:27

 

"Once a week" Q&A: Endometriosis and painful intercourse

Submitted by Talli on Wed, 07/17/2013 - 21:25

Question:

 

It is a bit hilarious to watch the Cross Fit people driving pelvic floor physical therapists crazy. A couple weeks ago, Cross Fit released a video making light of “exercise induced incontinence” by normalizing the phenomenon and joking with women athletes who pee during workouts. This scatelogical video is not for the faint at heart and is a bit, well, gross.

 

Pelvic pain is understood to be multifactorial, and includes medical musculoskeletal, and psychosocial components. The current model for treating pelvic pain designates medical diagnosis and treatment to physicians, treatment of   psychosocial factors, such as depression, and anxiety, to psychotherapists and musculoskeletal pain and pelvic floor hypertonus to physical therapists.