Talli's blog

Intimacy for Orthodox/Observant Jews

Submitted by Talli on Fri, 04/25/2014 - 15:45

Much of what I deal with on a daily basis, is related to the cognitive dissonance of young couples who embark upon a sexual relationship, only at the onset of marriage.

 

Orgasms : Only for the lucky few?

Submitted by Talli on Fri, 03/07/2014 - 12:07

Should'nt all women be able to reach orgasm?

 

How often should couples have sex?

Submitted by Talli on Fri, 02/28/2014 - 15:00

 

Partners in Passion

Submitted by Talli on Thu, 02/27/2014 - 18:42

The authors of this book, Mark A Michaels an Patricia Johnson, sent me a free copy, probably because they referenced a publication of mine in the book. I was very impressed and think its a good choice for couples to read together.

 

Q&A: Is my fiancé taking advantage of me sexually?

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 02/18/2014 - 19:54

Tiferet Shacham's insightful post about what she wished she learned about sexuality in her religious high school, sparked a great deal of discussion in the bogosphere world, an in particular, the popular blog, A Mother in Israel.

 

Egalitarianism in the bedroom: Equal roles, less sex?

Submitted by Talli on Sun, 02/09/2014 - 20:10

 

Is monogamy outdated?

Submitted by Talli on Tue, 01/14/2014 - 20:06
 Here's a story: At a sex therapy conference a decade ago, male physicians and sex therapists debated the etiology and treatment of womens sexual desire "problems". The doctors attributed low desire in women to hormonal and medical factors while the sex therapists suggested, somewhat in jest, that the treatment for low sex drive in women is for them to "get a lover" or "change partners."  To this the women participants responded "Are you kidding? An affair? What married woman with a job and kids has time for an affair?  Fast forward ten years. Daniel Bergner, author of "What Do Women Want?" isnt joking around. Bergner says that  women's desire is an "underestimated and constrained force." He cites research demonstrating that women are  innately sexually aggressive and desire multiple partners. Research also points to biological factors involved in acting out sexually outside of marriage. So, it would appear the question for women "not feeling it" in their marriages should not be  "why don't you desire" but rather "what do you desire? and "with whom? Do you believe that women are not really wired for monogamy? Or, is a new social construct being created giving women yet another reason to feel inadequate for not craving polyamory? And for those who value monogamy, is being "monogamish" the solution?  How about this...monogamy may be challenging, but being committed to it doesn't contradict sexual satisfaction. That takes communication and investment.And of course asking your female partner not "why dont you ever want?" but rather,  the question: "What do YOU want?"